Mother Load
Unpacking the Burdens of Modern Motherhood
Motherhood is often celebrated as a cornerstone of human experience, but the reality for many modern mothers is one of overwhelming challenges and systemic inequities. This webpage seeks to shed light on the often-overlooked struggles of contemporary motherhood, exploring the unique burdens mothers face in medical care, the workplace, and the home. By dissecting these challenges, we aim to spark critical conversations and inspire meaningful change.
In the medical realm, mothers in the United States endure some of the highest maternal mortality rates among developed nations. Beyond childbirth, postpartum care remains alarmingly inadequate, leaving women to navigate untreated birth injuries, pelvic floor health issues, and the complexities of breastfeeding without sufficient support. These gaps in care reveal a system that prioritizes births over the ongoing health and well-being of mothers.
The workplace further exacerbates these struggles. The United States is the only industrialized country without federally mandated paid maternity leave, forcing many mothers to choose between their careers and their families. Compounding this, a lack of accessible, affordable childcare disproportionately affects women, sidelining them from professional growth and economic independence.
At home, the inequalities persist. Mothers carry an outsized share of the mental load—the invisible, often exhausting labor of managing schedules, household needs, and emotional well-being. This division of work and emotional labor reinforces gender disparities, trapping many women in a cycle of unrelenting responsibility.
Through engaging videos, thought-provoking articles, and insightful discussions, this webpage provides a comprehensive exploration of these systemic barriers. Dive into these resources to better understand the challenges modern mothers face and join me in advocating for a future where motherhood is supported, valued, and equitable.
Medical
Birth, Postpartum & Breastfeeding
In her TED Talk, Dr. Marcy Crouch, a board-certified physical therapist specializing in women’s health, highlights the shortcomings of the healthcare system in addressing birth-related injuries, such as tearing and prolapse. She discusses how these common yet often overlooked injuries can lead to lifelong challenges for women, emphasizing the lack of adequate solutions and support within the current medical framework.
In her TED Talk, Dr. Elizabeth Howell addresses the alarming maternal mortality rates in the United States, highlighting that 60% of these deaths are preventable. She emphasizes the need for comprehensive maternal healthcare that extends beyond childbirth, advocating for improved care before, during, and after pregnancy. Dr. Howell calls for systemic changes to ensure better outcomes for mothers, urging healthcare providers and policymakers to prioritize maternal health and implement effective interventions.
Sara Reardon, a board-certified women’s health physical therapist, delves into the pelvic floor issues many women experience, particularly after childbirth. She also highlights postpartum care practices from around the world that the United States could adopt, such as the tradition of a 40-day recovery period at home and the focus on supporting new mothers by addressing their physical and emotional needs.
Sascha Mayer, CEO and Co-founder of Mamava, Inc., shares the story behind her company's mission to support breastfeeding mothers. Since 2015, Mamava has installed over 750 lactation suites designed to provide private, comfortable spaces for nursing on the go. In her TED Talk, Mayer discusses the inspiration for Mamava, rooted in her personal challenges with breastfeeding in the workplace. She also highlights the difficulties many women face when balancing breastfeeding with returning to work, underscoring the need for systemic support and practical solutions.
Work
Maternity Leave & Childcare
In her compelling talk, Jessica Shortall uses striking data and heartfelt stories from real working mothers to expose the harsh realities of new motherhood in the United States. Millions of women are forced to return to work just weeks after giving birth, a consequence of the U.S. being one of only nine countries without national paid maternity leave—sharing this distinction with Papua New Guinea. Shortall argues that this lack of support has severe economic, physical, and psychological impacts on mothers and their babies. She calls for urgent action to implement paid parental leave, framing it not just as a moral imperative but as essential for securing the nation's economic future.
A mother plays with her 1-year-old son at a day care center in Lynn, Massachusetts, March 2015. (Getty/The Boston Globe/Sean Proctor)
The Child Care Crisis Is Keeping Women Out of the Workforce
“More mothers would increase their earnings and seek new job opportunities if they had greater access to reliable and affordable child care.”
-Leila Schochet
This article examines how the lack of affordable and accessible child care in the United States significantly hinders women's participation in the labor force. It highlights that many families face challenges in securing reliable child care, leading mothers to reduce work hours or exit the workforce entirely. The article emphasizes that improving child care access could boost maternal employment and earnings, and advocates for federal policies to support working mothers through affordable, quality child care solutions.
Home
Division of Labor & Play
Image source click here
The mental load explained….
French cartoonist Emma brought widespread attention to the concept of the "mental load" through her now-viral illustrated comic. Her work resonated deeply, shedding light on the invisible labor of managing household tasks and responsibilities. Check out the original comic that sparked this important conversation.
Regina F. Lark explores how gender equality has stagnated within the household, focusing on the invisible labor that women disproportionately bear. She emphasizes the importance of making this hidden work visible and introduces the concept of "radical delegation" as a solution. Lark suggests that when men fully embrace their roles and responsibilities at home, women will have the opportunity to reach their full potential in the workplace.
In this video, Jimmy, from the YouTube channel "Jimmy and Relationships," speaks directly to a male audience as a father and husband. He explains the concept of the mental load and encourages men to go beyond simply "helping" their wives, reframing it as fulfilling their shared responsibilities as equal partners. Jimmy highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing the imbalance to become better, more supportive partners.
Photo by Yulianto Poitier: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-and-three-children-playing-water-1231365/
Sometimes I want to be the “fun dad” even though I’m the mom
“He gets to be the fun one, while I shoulder the mental load. But being the human calendar who keeps it all in her head is exhausting.”
-Ariel Brewster
In her article, Ariel Brewster reflects on the unequal distribution of the mental load in parenting, sharing a personal experience where she managed all the preparations for a family outing while her husband enjoyed carefree moments with their children. This scenario led her to feel excluded from the enjoyable aspects of parenting, as she was preoccupied with logistical tasks. Brewster discusses the societal expectations that often position mothers as the primary organizers and caretakers, which can prevent them from engaging in spontaneous, fun activities with their kids. She advocates for a more balanced approach, encouraging fathers to take on a fair share of the mental load, thereby allowing mothers to participate more fully in the joyful moments of parenting.
Podcast Playlist
Episodes from Ladies We Need To Talk with Yumi Stynes
This Australia-based podcast explores the many challenges women face in their everyday lives. I’ve curated a selection of episodes that align with the topics I’ve covered, providing a convenient audio format for those who enjoy multitasking while listening.
Birth trauma
9 Aug 2021
"Have a baby," they said. "It'll be great," they said. But what they didn't say, was that getting that kid out could leave you traumatised. Physically and mentally.
One in three Australian women describe their birth as traumatic. Yumi Stynes hears how different women are still coming to terms with their birth experiences, sometimes years later, and finds out what can be done to prevent traumatic births.
Burnout
29 Aug 2022
Burnout: It's a word so frequently used that it's almost become a catchphrase.
And let's face it, who isn't feeling exhausted? But when does that fatigue and overwhelm tip into burnout?
Yumi Stynes learns why so many of us are feeling utterly burnt out and how we can repair our sizzled-selves when we're running on empty.
Anxious Much
22 Oct 2018
Everyone gets a little bit anxious at times, but is what you’re feeling normal?
Anxiety is the most common mental health issue in Australia. Up to one in three women will experience anxiety, for men it’s one in five.
So why are women going through this? And if you are, what can you do about it?
The pelvic flaw in all of us
2 Jul 2018
Do you wee when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym?
One in four of us experience pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence, or even prolapse.
Basically we're poorly designed, we're standing over a gap and gravity is working against us.
But you can turn things around. So get ready to clench, ladies. We need to talk.
Bonus: Mental load pledges
15 Nov 2017
A bunch of awesome women – including Bec Judd, Patricia Karvelas and Myf Warhurst – have taken a pledge to reduce their mental load by doing less, especially around the home. Find out what they are vowing to stop doing.
A gender gap of pandemic proportions
18 May 2020
Guess who is way worse off in pandemics? Yup — women. While we're leading the charge on the frontline by slogging away in jobs like nursing, teaching and aged care, our purses are copping a flogging now and into the future.
More women than men have lost their jobs during this crisis and there are no prizes for picking who does the lion's share of home-schooling. COVID-19 is creating a gendered storm of pandemic proportions (sorry, we couldn't help ourselves).
The good news is, other women are the ones helping us through this crisis. Gender inclusion commentator, Amy Haddad, says we have some very finely honed skills in just shovelling through shit. And, you know, we just keep on shovelling.
Ladies, we love your boobs
4 Nov 2019
Boobies, tits, cans, your rack. Ladies, we want to celebrate your boobs. Despite what the beauty mags tell you, boobs come in all shapes and sizes. Some are big, some small, some are great at breastfeeding, others are not. Some women love their boobs, others get new ones. This episode talks about, and celebrates, all the boobs.
Solving the mental load - update
10 Aug 2020
A movement's begun to expose the mental load women shoulder. All that relentless, unpaid, thankless and invisible work women do. Naming it is powerful, right? But we want solutions! Author Eve Rodsky breaks down the mental load and teaches you how to spread the mental load more evenly with our partners — hallelujah!
E-portfolio reflection
I chose to focus my second major project on the inequalities and burdens modern mothers face. For the past ten years, I’ve wrestled with the decision of whether or not to have children. When I first married my husband, I believed I wanted children. However, as I observed the systemic challenges mothers face compared to fathers, I ultimately decided not to pursue motherhood. These systemic issues surrounding families, particularly mothers, are a subject I am deeply passionate about and have shaped my future career goals.
I am currently working toward my dream of becoming a midwife, a role I hope will allow me to actively contribute to changing societal and medical norms. My goal for this project was to distill the knowledge I’ve accumulated over the past decade into a clear, accessible overview of the fundamental challenges women face when they become mothers. While I don’t consider myself particularly tech-savvy, I am proud of the webpage I’ve created. I believe the content is easy to understand and accessible even for audiences unfamiliar with this topic.
While I’m satisfied with the depth of the issues I’ve covered, there were additional areas I wish I could have explored but felt would overwhelm the scope of the project. For instance, topics like fertility challenges (IVF, miscarriage, and adoption) and the unique struggles faced by the LGBTQIA+ community, such as trans men who give birth and the difficulty of finding supportive providers, are equally important.
Completing this virtual exhibit has enriched my learning experience in this course by allowing me to dive deeply into a topic discussed during the semester. This focus enabled me to provide greater depth and attention to specific factors, expanding beyond what we covered in class